Kathy Kiuna recently shared a powerful story during a conversation with her daughter about the importance of sustainable help and avoiding dependency through handouts. In the discussion, she opened up about a significant gesture she and her late husband made years ago for a woman who came to them seeking assistance for her seven children.
The woman had approached them requesting help with school fees for her kids. Deeply moved by her situation, they stepped in and took on the full responsibility of educating all seven children. After the children completed their schooling, the couple went even further. They decided to build a home for the woman and her family — a spacious three-bedroom house complete with a servant’s quarter. The house was fully furnished, and they even ensured the family wouldn’t lack income-generating options.
In a bid to empower the family, a borehole was drilled on the property, offering them a chance to earn a living by selling water. Kathy hoped this would not only provide them with a roof over their heads but also set them on a path toward financial independence. With no rent to pay, a home of their own, and opportunities to earn income, she believed the family would thrive.
However, things didn’t go as she had hoped. Despite the resources and opportunities provided, the woman continued to reach out for financial help. Kathy initially continued to support them but eventually realized that the constant assistance was no longer helpful — it was enabling a cycle of dependence. The family had grown used to receiving instead of working with what had already been given to them.
She noticed that even when the family started to succeed in the business of selling water, they still preferred to rely on handouts. This persistent behavior prompted Kathy to have a difficult but necessary conversation with them. She told them firmly that she would no longer offer any financial support. She had come to understand that endless giving, especially when not paired with responsibility and effort from the recipient, can do more harm than good.
Through this experience, Kathy learned an invaluable lesson about empowerment. She emphasized that true support involves giving people the tools to improve their lives, not simply providing for them indefinitely. Handouts, she concluded, can lead to a sense of entitlement and rob people of the motivation to work toward self-reliance. The ultimate takeaway for her was that empowering others must come with accountability — otherwise, help can become a crutch instead of a stepping stone.
